Sunlight and Fisticuffs

 I doubt I was the only one who fell out of their chair when Alec Baldwin mentioned batshit crazy conspiracy theorist and free speech criminal Alex Jones in his cold open as doughface donny during Saturday Night Live recently. Jones himself was apparently not amused. But instead of doing something decent like quitting his media act, Jones challenged Alec Baldwin to a "bare-knuckle" brawling match where the infamous peddler of un-sourced allegations and outright lies would "break [Baldwin's] jaw in seconds... smash [Baldwin's] nose into a bloody pulp" and assorted other blustering tantrums of juvenile bullying and taunts until finally admitting later that he was "just joking" and "speaking metaphorically." Now, I only realized right before starting to write this that I am almost the same age as this carnival barker/trained geek when I actually took a moment to look at his Wikipedia page, but I gave up making these kind of macho posturings about two decades ago. I also do not have the ear of a sitting president. Satire sure can be effective when elements of truth are a prominent part of it.

Showmen like Alex Jones, whether he believes the shit he shovels into his audience's skulls or not doesn't subtract from the sort of "style" which he presents his fantastic yarns of conspiracy, walk a thin line. He's a big hit in his underground way, kind of punk rockish, but like Driftglass' theory of the "tribe that rubs shit in their hair", once he is dragged into the spotlight, the charisma is revealed to be merely uncivilized drivel. I am still on the fence about whether or not Bill Maher having Milo yippyyapolus on in prime time was a factor in his, Milo's, fall or simply coincidence but trees don't have to die now to print his book. Is there a chance that being name dropped as a muse of doughface donny's insanity on network television will drag Alex Jones into those warm, cleansing rays of sunshine so he can finally sizzle under the ridicule of normal people?

When both Alex and I were mere babes in springtime, another lunatic named Michael Savage got a promotion from merely spilling spittle-flecked ad hominem demonizations of Democrats and liberals on radio, to a show on MSNBC before that cable news network settled on a sort of left-of-center point of view. It wasn't very long before the sunshine banished Savage from the larger audience of cable TV after he let loose a few, shall we say, colorful metaphors. Rush Limbaugh has a similar experience every time they try to put him on TV. The longest-lived cable perch for a hyper-partisan conspiracy theorist was probably Glenn Beck, and even he outlasted his welcome at Fox News of all places.

However, Alex Jones and his particular brand of crazy stays pretty low key. Although his rants are available to just about everyone via YouTube, no network executives are embarrassed when he freaks out about juice boxes making little boys gay or claims that President Obama possessed a weather weapon that could steer tornadoes and hurricanes to republican areas. Bob Cesca of Salon and the Daily Banter has kept a close eye on the insanity of Alex Jones, check out his analysis whydontcha?

Anyway, my money's on Alec Baldwin. But a good ass-kicking out in the open, disinfecting rays of sunlight is exactly what Jones needs to finally get over himself. So, good luck to the best presidential impersonator we've had since Will Ferrell and Dana Carvey!