How to Wreck the Forced Birth Enthusiasts

I have never written a full post about abortion rights before. This is because it is such entry-level bullshit to be against a woman's right to choose, anyone with two functioning brain cells is pro-choice when it matters to them. This is nothing but a way to bully women. Period. But, is there a republican in power anywhere? If the answer is yes then silly shit like abortion bans, punishments, vigilante violence, and restrictions on the right to privacy will continue. My very first professor in college, English, preemptively banned anyone from writing argumentative or persuasive essays on abortion, because as she put it "that's high school stuff." However tired of arguing over abortion decent people are though, the children of darkness keep agitating against women's rights. I came across YA author and frequent victim of right-wing authoritarian aggression Chris Crutcher's persuasive Facebook post this morning and wanted to back him up.

It’s time to weaponize against the batshit crazy abortion legislation coming out of Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, Missouri, et al. Those self-righteous old men who average five hours a day, three or four days a week, legislating vicious policy that leaves poverty stricken women, rape and incest victims, as well as love-stricken girls who believe their whiney teenage boyfriends’ promises of everlasting love if they’ll just this one time - and a bunch of times after that - have sex with them; those men are the enemy.

In these past few weeks, the American narrative has become stunningly absurd. And it’s partly our fault, because we’ve allowed the debate to become gradually more idiotic since the early seventies when the Roe V Wade decision came down. [emphasis mine]

Now first I have to clarify that I love Mr. Crutcher's books, even though I don't get to read fiction very often. Mrs. Kraken and I even got to have dinner with him (among others) at a conference reception once. He was one of the coolest people I have met, laughed at my lame jokes, listened to all of us, and told great stories, in short a great guy to know and be around. So I am fully on board with all of his ideas here. My one reservation, and unfortunately it is the central thesis, is how? The only thing right wing authoritarians understand is force and fear of punishment. How do we, the majority of non-fundamentalist zealots, punish or force the angry minority and the republicans who laugh at them while stealing their money and votes? The short answer is we can't. Which is why they are so aggressive at defying common sense and the constitution. The best defense of the absurdity of the authoritarian conception of the "sanctity of life" is a good offense.

The only answer is to organize and vote republicans out. Every single one. Whatever tactics are necessary to keep pro-women's rights Americans involved, organized, and voting against republicans is justified. Because, no matter how many times the bans, intravaginal ultrasounds, intimidation of women, and financial hardships they impose on women are struck down by the courts, it doesn't hurt the rednecks out there in the least. It's only their tax money that gets wasted, not the legislator's. So as long as these authoritarian spectacles keep the meatheads energized they will keep at it. Heaping shame upon the rednecks will not work if they can simply tune you out. You have to risk arguments and stop being polite when uncle liberty goes on a rant at family gatherings. They have to be challenged, they have to suffer ostracism and the laughter of others before they will stop openly spouting the nonsense.

We let the debate become about the sanctity of life. We let the debate become about some random time when the sperm-egg union becomes a human life. We let the debate become “what-if” morality banter. (What if the aborted fetus was destined to be a Mozart? Or an Einstein? A Katherine Johnson, or an Alice Walker? Yeah, well what if that fetus was destined to be a Charles Manson, or an Eric Harris? Maybe a Lizzie Bordon. There are a hell of a lot more of THOSE humans trolling the planet than that other kind.)

Let’s get real here. There is nothing sacred human life, in the abstract. Humans lives become sacred when they’re treated that way and when they in-turn treat others that way. How many of you “moral” Christians would leave Adolf Fetus Hitler to grow and nurture in the womb if you knew the shitstorm HE would eventually kick into play? You think if Nancy Lanza had had access to a time machine, she wouldn’t have whipped back twenty years and nine months and sucked that murderous little shit Adam out of her womb before he could blow her away, then drive to Sandy Hook Elementary to slaughter 20 five and six-year-olds along with six adults who were trying to protect them?

And again, Mr. Righteous Christian Politician, before you decide you want to give any doctor who performs an abortion, 99 years, you might want to consider that the entity YOU sometimes “worship” for up to an hour or so a week - whom you believe to be a HE (understandably) and IN WHOSE IMAGE YOU CLAIM TO BE CREATED – happens to be, among other things, the most prolific abortionist on the planet. And HE takes babies at random; wanted and unwanted.

All excellent points. If this was an issue of reason and logic Mr. Crutcher would be taking a well-deserved victory lap. I wish every pro-forced birth meathead had to read this before his car would start or before he could punch in to work.

I say all that only to piss you off and get your attention. You guys need to discover the difference between righteous and self-righteous. TO THE PERSON every one of you assholes who crows and votes “right to life” are anti-abortion right up until your daughter gets pregnant by some laid-back dope-smoking ne’er-do-well - or some guy who isn’t white - and you’re afraid you’ll have to explain to your like-minded friends at a dinner party or political fund-raiser how your control-freaky bullshit didn’t pan out and your little girl turned into such a big disappointment, or a whore. Suddenly, a quick trip to the clinic takes care of your embarrassment and you can go back to being the asshole who believes in “life” right up until it actually happens.

Or maybe you’re just Pennsylvania Congressman Tim Murphy. Oops. 

Burn. Sick Burn.

 So my side is taking back the basic premise; we’re making the debate simple and easy:

Question: In the democracy that is the United States of America, who should decide whether or not to terminate a pregnancy?
Answer: The woman who is pregnant.

Question: At what point does she need to decide?
Answer: Whenever.

Question: What regions in America should be free of abortion clinics?
Answer: Any that are completely underwater or in the immediate path of a wildfire.

Question: What should American men and women who are fiercely against abortion do?
Answer: Don’t get one.

The money shot. Turn it around. Make them convince you. Never let any of their bullshit fallacious assumptions stand unchallenged. And vote. Stop putting effort into convincing these logic-impervious that they are wrong. They simply are wrong. Ignore them or destroy them, but there's no point in wasting time trying to persuade them.

I am sure that professional wordsmith that he is, Mr. Crutcher pounded this message out in one or two deep breaths. Good thing too, as much as we need ammunition to fight the authoritarians, we also need his work writing stories that help young adults deal with life. Very few writers are talented enough to make a difference in someone's life and we are lucky Mr. Crutcher uses all of his gifts in service of the light side.