So... uh... what's new?
I apologize for my long absence. There is no excuse I suppose but it just seemed like the narrative was outrunning my ability to keep up. If anything, democracy and what we like to believe America actually represents is slipping away faster and faster. I realized that not only was I not able to stem the tide in even the tiniest way I thought I was before but that I don't really have anything novel or useful to add. In short, I am out of practice for any kind of meaningful writing. It is so easy to slip into despair at the powerlessness of individuals to make any impact on political discourse. Or at least what was once known as the "liberal blogosphere" that I tried to be part of. What place can a guy writing under a pseudonym about history's effects on the present have in 2022? I'm not a Youtuber, a Tiktoker, or even particularly good at Twitter or any platform people are using and actually paying attention to. It seemed like spending time with my family or my hobbies was a more productive use of the limited time we have on Earth. My "output" such as it was, dwindled even on Facebook where it was comparatively easy to post a news story with a reaction. What difference did it make?
Then, my father died suddenly in early 2021 and I just completely gave up. He left almost nothing behind of his experiences, ideas, or opinions. Nothing in writing anyway. Over seven decades on Earth and in a moment, all of those things disappeared. I really took that hard. What is the point? Why bother? We're all worm food in the end anyway and very few of us humans will leave any kind of lasting mark. My goal, once upon a time, was to make a difference in even just one person's thinking on what this great experiment in self-government means in the long story of human history. But what difference could it make if I gave even dozens of people tools to fight against this horrible self-delusion of millions on a collision course with fascism? A few more people aware of the crushing wave of organized money and manipulation of masses of stupid people? In times of great evil, maybe ignorance is better. Better not to be aware of how bad it is, how a minority of cruel, self-serving scum will rule over the majority that couldn't fight back and never had a chance.
Reinhold Niebuhr used to say that nothing is inevitable, that wars can be stopped. Tyrants can be prevented from taking over. One of his books was called Leaves from the Notebook of a Tamed Cynic where he dealt with the disillusionment of whole-heartedly supporting the US war effort in WW1 only to feel betrayed by the cynical exploitation and oppression used to suppress dissent. The fight against evil was not only "over there" but it had to be taken up in domestic politics as well. What was the point of defending democracy with anti-democratic methods? So while the rest of the country partied to jazz and bootleg liquor while cruising in their Model T's, Niebuhr was trying to make peace with the imperfect ways men must use to combat evil on Earth. I don't know where I lie on the spectrum of cynicism, perhaps I am just too weak and cowardly to confront the trolls and too tired to motivate the apathetic. But, in the same way Niebuhr came to realize that despite all the apathy and cynicism, war is not inevitable. The midterms are not a foregone conclusion and there is still a chance to save democracy.
At least, when I go, my children will know where there old man stood. That's enough reason to get back up and try.
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